Benalmádena's BEST Apartment? Luxury Belvilla by OYO Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving deep into this hotel review, and I'm not holding back. Get ready for the messy, the honest, and the oh-so-human truth about [HOTEL NAME]. SEO? We’ll sprinkle that magic dust in, but first? Let’s feel this place.
First Impressions & A Dash of Anxiety (Accessibility)
Okay, I went in with a plan for this review. Logical categories, bullet points, the whole shebang. But honestly? Hotels are messy, people are messy, and my brain is… well, you get the idea.
Let's start with the stuff that should be top priority: Accessibility. This is a BIG one, and frankly, hotels often botch it. [HOTEL NAME] says they're doing accessibility right. Here's what they claim:
- Wheelchair accessible: Check. Let's hope they mean it. I'm going to delve into this. Look for ramps, elevators, accessible rooms (more on those later!), and generally, a sense of "we thought about everyone." No news as to what the details are.
- Elevator: Good, this is usually a must-have.
- Facilities for disabled guest: We'll see about this one. I'm looking for some "Wow!" or "Meh" moments.
- Exterior corridor: I'm not a fan of these.
- Rooms: No more to report yet.
- CCTV in common areas & CCTV outside property: Good for security.
- Door man A good sign to start
Overall Impression on Accessibility: I’ll have to double back to this section after I’ve actually been there. I want to see, not just hear. Fingers crossed they've nailed it. This could be a make or break for a lot of people, and I am absolutely going to look into every single claim.
Connectivity & Comfort (Because, Let's Face It, We're All Digital Nomads Now)
- Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Okay, phew. Being tethered to the internet is the modern soul. Free Wi-Fi is a MUST. Seriously, a hotel that charges for Wi-Fi in this day and age is just… rude. I'll be testing the speed and reliability. Is it good enough to stream a movie? Can I actually work? That's the real question. And I always look for the hidden networks. Is it "The-Hotel-Free-Guest-Network-But-Really-Slow" or "The-Hotel-Free-Guest-Network-That-Actually-Works?" We’ll see.
- Available in all rooms: Essential for modern life unless you would rather stay inside.
- Laptop workspace: Also important, but I am sure that will be in all rooms.
My Mind Wanders (Things to Do and Ways to Relax)
Alright, let's get to the fun stuff! The whole point of a hotel isn't to just sleep, right? (Though, honestly, sometimes that's all I want!).
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], Pool with view: Yessss! Give me a pool with a view and I’m instantly more relaxed. Is it crowded? Clean? Do they have decent pool towels? These are the important questions.
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: Oooooh, now we’re talking! A spa is my happy place. I’m a sucker for a good massage. But is the spa actually good? Or is it a sad little afterthought with scratchy towels and overpriced treatments? I’m hoping for the former.
- Gym/fitness, Fitness center: Meh. I should use the gym. I rarely do. But I’ll still check it out. Is it well-equipped? Clean? Does it have a view? (Always a plus).
- Things to do: This is vague, but I assume they have something up their sleeves.
The Food, Glorious Food (and the Drinks!)
- Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant, Bottle of water, Essential condiments, Kids meal, Alternative meal arrangement: It's a food fiesta! That's what I like to see. A hotel with options is a hotel after my own heart. I'm curious about the quality. Is it just bland hotel food, or are they actually trying? I always judge a hotel by its coffee. It's a litmus test. The breakfast buffet is another significant factor. Are the pastries stale? Is the coffee drinkable? I am hoping for a win here.
- Room service [24-hour]: A MUST. Because sometimes you just want to eat pizza in your pajamas at 2 AM.
Cleanliness & Safety (Because We're Living in a Post-COVID World)
Alright, let's get serious for a second. COVID changed everything. I want to feel safe. This is what the hotel claims:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good.
- Cashless payment service: Good!
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Essential.
- Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Reassuring.
- Hand sanitizer: Good.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Good.
- Hygiene certification: Important.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Okay.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Good.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Good.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Good.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Good.
- Safe dining setup: Also good.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Essential.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Good.
- Sterilizing equipment: Good.
- CCTV in common areas & CCTV outside property: Good for security.
- Daily housekeeping: I want to know exactly what that entails now.
- Hand sanitiser: Good.
My Take: I'm looking for evidence. Are staff wearing masks? Are surfaces clean? Are they actively enforcing safety measures? I want to see the effort.
Room Review: Inside the Walls (and What Matters)
- Available in all rooms: A welcome offering.
- Additional toilet: Luxurious.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Okay, this is a lot. Essentially, they're promising a comfortable room. The crucial things for me are: BLACKOUT CURTAINS (essential), a comfortable bed, good Wi-Fi, and a decent shower. I'm also keen on the size, view, and the presence of any quirks or charms.
- Non-smoking rooms: Of course.
- Couple's room: Always good, but I'll have to see it.
- Room decorations: I am a sucker for a great aesthetic.
- Soundproof rooms: Please.
Services & Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter)
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential, especially in warmer climates.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Useful if you're holding an event.
- **Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive HEADFIRST into my chaotic, glorious, possibly slightly disastrous (but mostly glorious) trip to Benalmadena, Spain, courtesy of Belvilla by OYO. This itinerary? More of a suggestion box, frankly. A suggestion box filled with sangria-fueled dreams and the inevitable reality check of me, trying to wrangle sunshine and tapas. Here we go…
The Benalmadena Bonanza: A Semi-Organized Descent into Delight (and Doubt)
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and the Allure of the Balcony
- Morning (ish) (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Arrival at Malaga Airport. Okay, so, let's be honest, I'm terrible with airports. I'm that person who gets lost in the duty-free shop, buys a ridiculously overpriced chocolate bar, and nearly misses their flight. This time? Miraculously, I made it! The real test starts now: Getting to the Belvilla by OYO apartment. Pray to the travel gods for a smooth taxi ride. Please, don’t let the driver be one of those silent types.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Check-in and Apartment Exploration. Finding the apartment is always a gamble. Is it as advertised? Is there Wi-Fi? Is there… a balcony? (Pray for a balcony!) (I’m imagining myself lounging on the balcony, gazing at the Mediterranean, sipping wine… I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I?) Unpack, breathe, and then the most crucial task: Locate the closest supermarket. Survival mode activated. (Fingers crossed for cheap olives and a decent loaf of bread.)
- Late Afternoon/Evening (4:00 PM - Bedtime… whenever that is…): The Balcony Situation. Okay, so, I did get a balcony! THANK YOU, TRAVEL GODS! Spend some glorious time on it. Assess the view. Judge the neighbors. Crack open a bottle of something (probably the stuff I panic bought in duty-free). This is it. This is the moment. Dinner at a local tapas bar (that’s the plan, at least… let’s face it, I might just order pizza delivery and stay on the balcony.) Feel out the local vibe: is there a cat? I love cats.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and the Inevitable Sunburn)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Beach Time! Benalmadena has a beautiful beach. Sunscreen is a MUST. I repeat, people: SUNSCREEN. (Learned that the hard way on my last trip to… well, let’s just say it involved a lobster-red back and a lot of aloe vera). Find a sun lounger. Read a book (maybe even one I packed!). People-watch (always a good pastime). Attempt to look effortlessly chic, failing spectacularly, but enjoying it anyway.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Lunch at a Chiringuito (that's a beach bar, for the uninitiated). Order some freshly grilled seafood. Sip on a cold beer. Get sand everywhere. This is life! (Hopefully without too much sand… it always gets in everything.)
- Late Afternoon/Evening (4:00 PM - Whenever Hunger Strikes): Stroll along the Paseo Maritimo (the seaside promenade). Check out the shops (resist the urge to buy EVERYTHING… it's so hard though). Find a gelato place. Eat gelato. Consider a sunset kayak tour. (Maybe I'll chicken out. I get seasick easily.) More Tapas? You already know the answer.
Day 3: Adventure and Artistic Failures (with a Side of Sangria)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Teleferico Benalmadena. Ride the cable car up to the top of Mount Calamorro. Breathe in the fresh air. Take in the views (they should be stunning). Ponder the meaning of life. Or just take selfies. No judgment.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): The Sculpture Garden. (I’m envisioning myself as a cultured art critic… not.) Wander around the gardens. Pretend to understand modern art. Take pictures of the sculptures. (Secretly, will probably just be admiring the plants.)
- Late Afternoon/Evening (4:00 PM - Midnight): The Sangria Experiment: I'm making it my mission. I’ve never successfully made Sangria, because, honestly, who really follows the rules? The ingredients, the ratios… it's all a suggestion, right? (Famous last words). Head back to the apartment, buy all the supplies (fruit, wine, a suspiciously large bottle of brandy). Attempt to channel my inner bartender. Serve to myself and possibly a friendly, judgement-free neighbor. Drink! Enjoy the fruits (literally) of my labor, even if it ends up tasting more like fruit punch than a Spanish masterpiece. Who cares? We're on vacation! Maybe a second attempt?
- VERY Late Night: A trip to a local bar? Maybe… it all depends on the Sangria situation… and whether I can find my way back to the apartment.
Day 4: Deep Breaths and Dolphin Dreams
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): A Gentle Start. Coffee on the balcony. Read a book. Or, you know, just stare at the view. Try to combat the hangover (caused by the previous nights endeavors..).
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Selwo Marina! Apparently, they have dolphins! (I love dolphins!). Watch their show. Try not to cry (I'm a sucker for a good dolphin performance). Admire the penguins too, while I'm at it.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (4:00 PM - Bedtime… hopefully at a reasonable hour): Explore the heart of Benalmadena: Benalmadena Pueblo. Wander around the whitewashed village. Get lost in the narrow streets. Find a hidden square. Eat dinner. (But maybe not too much. I still need to squeeze into my airplane seat tomorrow). Pack. This is the sad part.
Day 5: Departure (And a Promise to Return)
- Morning (7-ish AM): Quick Pack up. Check one last time for personal belongings. Is everythin accounted for? Did I really drink all of the sangria?
- Morning/Afternoon (Depending on flight): Taxi ride to the airport. Reflect on the fun of this trip.
- Later Afternoon: Get home and start the planning on the next trip.
Postscript: This is, of course, just a suggestion. A loose framework. Things will go wrong. I will get lost. I will eat too much. I will probably fall asleep on the beach. And it will be absolutely perfect. Benalmadena, here I come (again!).
OMG! This Belgian Penthouse Will Leave You SPEECHLESS! (Middelkerke, 10th Floor)
So, what *is* this whole FAQ thing supposed to be about, anyway? I'm already lost.
Honestly? Your guess is as good as mine. Okay, okay, I'll try to provide some semblance of answers. Think of this as a Q&A session… with a severely overcaffeinated human rambling at the keyboard. It's about... well, life, the universe, and everything... wrapped in a layer of hopefully-funny-because-you-know-the-truth-is-depressing. We're covering everything from figuring out your laundry schedule (which I *still* haven't mastered) to wrestling with existential dread. Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Okay, fine. But like, *specific* questions? What kind of topics are we even talking about here? I need a road map, dammit!
Road map? Honey, we're driving off-road. Expect everything from the utterly trivial to the deeply philosophical, often mashed together in a glorious, confusing stew. Laundry, relationships (the good, the bad, and the "why am I still here?"), career woes, THAT time I accidentally set the microwave on fire... It's all fair game. Think of it as a brain dump, with occasional flashes of clarity. Or maybe not. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, topics…
My socks *always* disappear in the dryer. Is this a government conspiracy?
YES! Absolutely, 100% a conspiracy. It's the Laundry Gremlins, man. They're real. I've seen them. Tiny, sock-obsessed creatures who thrive on chaos and missing pairs. I KNOW it sounds crazy, but I swear, I've put in *matching* socks, and POOF! Gone. Vanished. Probably wearing my best argyle pair to a sock-themed rave right now. Honestly, I bought a pack of like, black athletic socks and i'm sticking with that. No more mystery. It's a solution! (I also use dryer sheets - fight me.)
So, dating. Ugh. Any advice? I'm currently staring at my phone, waiting for a text that'll never come.
Oh, dating. *Sigh*. Okay, my sage advice? Lower your expectations. No, seriously. Lower, lower, lower. Then, prepare for the inevitable disappointment. Kidding! Kinda. Look, dating is a minefield. But, remember, if they're not texting back, maybe *you're* not texting back. Take a deep breath. If things are going well, just… be yourself! (Even if "yourself" is a slightly anxious mess who overthinks everything.) And if it's going *badly*? Cut. And. Run. No, seriously. Save yourself the drama.
What about career advice? Do you have any idea how to climb the corporate ladder without losing my soul (and my lunch)?
Ah, the eternal struggle. I'm currently trying to sell myself as a "highly caffeinated creative" so, take my advice with a grain of salt. The soul-crushing part is inevitable. However, the trick is to find a company, or field, where the soul-crushing is at least... *minimally* less soul-crushing. And remember: Always. Take. Lunch breaks. Seriously. Get up. Leave your desk. Stare at a tree. Drink some water. The world won't end. Okay, *maybe* it will, but you should keep that "break" going.
I have a terrible habit of procrastinating. How do I stop? Because seriously, I should be working right now.
Oh, sweet, sweet, procrastination. My old friend. Look. I get it. Totally. I'm staring at a blank screen right now, writing about how to stop procrastinating. The best advice? ...Just start. I know, it's cliche. But setting a timer helps. Five minutes. Just five minutes of focused work. Then you can reward yourself with... whatever your procrastination poison is. My personal poison? Cat videos. Don't judge me. Okay do. But start. Seriously. Now. Before I get sidetracked by a particularly cute kitten... 
What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you? Spill the tea.
Okay, buckle up, because there was that time I was convinced I was psychic. Yes, really. It started small. Predicting the number of jelly beans in a jar (I was off by, like, a thousand, but still!). Then, it escalated. I was *certain* I could communicate with squirrels. (Spoiler alert: I couldn't.) The peak? I bought a crystal ball. I looked ridiculous. Then the doorbell rang. It was my neighbor, holding a tray of cookies, and saying "I knew you'd be expecting this!" I. Was. Convinced. I was actually a psychic. I went to my mom. She told me her psychic friend has bad days too, and gave me a cookie. The next day I lost the crystal ball. Still, I have the cookies.
Is it possible to be happy, or is this all just a cruel joke?
Okay, let's get real for a second. Happiness is… complicated. It's not a destination; it's that fleeting moment when the stars align. It's the feeling you got when you were a kid and everything was possibility. It's that feeling you get when you drink an iced coffee on a scorching day. No, there are definitely times when the universe seems actively opposed to joy. But within the absurdities of life, the chaos and the mess, there's the chance for real moments. The ones that make you laugh. The ones that make you feel connected. The ones that make you think, "Okay, maybe this whole thing *isn't* a complete waste of time." So, is it possible? Yeah, I think so. But it's probably gonna come with a side of existential angst and a whole lotta snacks.
How do you deal with stress? I'm pretty sure I'm going to spontaneously combust.
Stress? Oh, honey, that's my *specialty*. My coping mechanisms? Vary.Web Hotel Search Site
